Egads!

Well I finally found a use for that potent-as-hell bathroom cleaner. I spent half the bottle wasting it on this mofo, (after squealing like a girl and hiding in a corner for a few minutes of course):

It took it awhile, but it eventually went down for the count. I would’ve used my hairspray/lighter method, but I wanted to get my security deposit back for the flat at the end of my lease.

Oh yeah, I’m going to be checking my flat for these things for weeks now. Did I mention I’ve a bit of arachnophobia? I’m still waiting for the “flight” adrenaline response to subside: this shit is better than caffeine on a narcoleptic.

Tear Gas

Apparently bathroom cleaners are becoming more and more potent these days.  A few sprays of the one I was using today and my eyes were on fire and my lungs felt like I stuck my head in the smoke from a campfire and inhaled a few times. I finally remembered that I had my old chemistry goggles still, so I had to break them out to finish the simple task of cleaning the bathrooms in my flat. Furthermore, I took my goggles off and saw that the fumes from the cleaner changed the pigment of the ink that I had inscribed my name on them with from a navy blue to a bright fuchsia. Screw the chemistry goggles. With the way my lungs are still burning four hours later, and with what the mere fumes did to my goggles, I’ll need a HAZMAT suit to clean my bathroom next time. However, they seem to be a bit out of my budget, so I’ll just have to change cleaners.

I Didn't Lift a Finger

I walked into work yesterday.

“He’s got some news for you,” my co-worker told me. Of course he did.
“What, did the jackass tell my boss now? That he needed to come in later and still leave at the same time, reducing his hours again?” I asked her.
“Oh, I’m certain he’ll tell you,” she replied a sly smile on her face.
“Hmm, ok,” I said, returning to my work.

Later on into the shift I was focused on getting the part of my work that had a deadline done. During this I was just conversing casually with them both.
“Well,” he began, “while we are sharing news, I’ve got some news of my own.”
This should be good. I’ve been waiting for this the past couple weeks.
“After much discussion with my wife, I’ve decided to go back to school,” he continued, “of course, I can’t work my hospital job, and this one, and do school at the same time, so I turned my two weeks in today. My last day will be February 8th.”
A huge ass grin comparable to the Grinch was fighting its way to the surface of my face. I kept staring intently at my work so I could continue my facade of nonchalance.
“I feel bad,” he said as if he was probing for a reaction from me, “this is such a cool gig.”
I fought the impulse to roll my eyes. I was used to his bullshit and I didn’t even give a damn that he was going back to school. For all I knew it was an excuse as well.
“Well,” I finally said, trying to keep the elation from my voice,” you got to do what you got to do.”
I then returned to my work.

After he let the lab my co-worker turned to me.
“You weren’t kidding when you said you’d get him out of here,"she said with a little bit of awe slipping in her voice.
“Nope, I wasn’t,” I looked at her smiling, “and I even went on holiday.”

Let the Games Begin

I was in the room filing away, as was one of my Monday chores at work. I felt my leg vibrating, and realised it was my phone. When I saw who it was, I answered.

“Hey, whatcha doin’?” she asked me.

“Filing, I was going to ring you but I wanted to finish this up first.”

“Oh, well I wanted to call you as we had planned to talk tonight anyways,” she continued.

It was true. We had agreed to chat after she had come to work and spoken with my boss, a friend of hers for the past 10 years. I spoke to her after I had finished working on Saturday. It was partially to catch up on life, as good friends tend to do. My other reason was to find out what the Hell was going on with my boss, because something was definitely eating at her.

“Well?” I prompted her.

“Have you been doing your school work at work?” she asked me, catching me off guard. I hadn’t expected this topic to come up.

“Uh, not lately. I’ve just been going home. Even if I have, it was after everything was completed for the day and everyone was gone. I would only stay until my shift was over."I replied.

“Watch your back, Jack.”

“Huh?” I asked, totally confused.

“She (my boss) did confront him about what he did, and on top of what she told you Jackass told her that the reason he left early was because you were wanting to get him out of there so you could do your schoolwork. “

“Really.” I said dryly, trying not to get pissed off.

“Yeah, he was making it sound like you were doing your schoolwork while he was doing all the work in the lab.”

I was seething. That two-faced lying sack of shit. I knew he was a bull-shitting, lazy, ass-hole. I should have expected something like this from him. The fucktard.

“Ok, now I’m pissed.” I told her.

“No, don’t get mad,” she said, “I told her about you coming to the other lab to pick up some work as well as the paper you told me you had to get home to work on. It got her to think that your behaviour then didn’t coincide with what he was insinuating.”

“Hell, I hope it would’nt. I was working on that damn paper until 1 pm the next day.”

“Well, like I said, watch your back. He’s playing those childish games.”

“Oh, no worries, “ I replied, “he’ll find out how much I love playing games.”

We continued chatting for a little while longer before I walked upstairs to the lab.

And there he was, smiling and joking at me, oblivious to the fact that I knew. And there I was, smiling and joking at him, planning my next move.