I'm BAAAAAAAACK
I have been busy. Actually, busy doesn’t even describe it. More like running-at-five-fucking-hundred-kilometres-an-hour would be more like it. Oh, and don’t forget to add the sudden stop due to a collision with a wall at the end of the route. Yeah, they forgot to tell me about that one. Assholes.
I have read your comments, and I appreciate every.last.one.of.them. They made me laugh, made me cry, made me want to shoot myself in the foot, and made me want to roll my eyes while jumping around my room naked.
Regardless, since I’ve missed so much while I’ve been avoiding an academic meltdown, I figure, why not answer your comments en masse? Hell, maybe I’ll even get to share with you all some valuable lessons that I have learned over the course of my short, uneventful life:
A. I used to teach pre-school for a spell, and I learned some valuable lessons while working with those little miniature terrors we call “children”. One was when it came to throwing tantrums, you must ignore it. Acknowledging it will cause them to realise “Hey, this fucking works!! Right on!!” and do it incessantly from that point on.
B. Although the term “crazy” is up for debate in my “about” section by many people, those who know me in person would agree with it, and since it is my blog and my interpretation of myself, I AM “crazy”. Oh yeah, all the other shit up there is true...so interpret it however you want. If you think it makes me sound like a “skanky-ass-ho”, so be it. If you think it makes me sound “hot” give me about five minutes to get ready and I’ll be right over.
C. I love pop-tarts. They are a college student’s dream come true when it comes to sustenance. Then again, I also love granola bars and milk, but I’ll take stock in pop-tarts: they’re a kick-ass product.
D. I LOVE a good Merlot. Unfortunately, right now to me a “good” Merlot consists of some cheap-ass 6 USD bottle at the nearby market because I can’t afford the 200+USD ones at a winery. I figure, hey, if I don’t know what I’m missing, I can’t complain.
E. I.LOVE.CHEESE...Brie with a nice bread…mmmm!!! I miss the cheeses in Sweden: so good and so fresh. In the city I lived in, when I would go into the centre of town, there was a cheese factory. However, I did pity the poor bloke who was renting the flat directly above the factory, because it smelled like ass the whole time. I bet when he wanted to get laid, there was no question to what he would say when asked “Your place, or mine?” Then again, after enough vodka…
Nah, she’d still notice.
F. I love reindeer. Reindeer rock. If you are a “reindeer” embrace it! Reindeer aren’t “four-footed flying pack mules,” they’re horny bastards/bitches.
G. Anything having to do with horses, I will read. (Thoroughblog kicks ass. She’ll make a great brood-mare.) =)
H. If you came here looking for your medication, I have one question for you: “Do I LOOK like a fucking apothecary?!” Yeah, I’ve done enough chemistry to write a book on how to make your own controlled substances, but I don’t broadcast it. Wait...did the police put you up to this? Is this a test? Am I under surveillance?
I. I love exchanges: even if they aren’t requested. I also love my Christmas layout. It puts me in a good mood, even if I’m not getting laid this year. Wait, shit, was that too much information? Hmm...maybe I should rethink this one. Is this a trick question?
J. I did not have sexual relations with the bacteria; they only made it to my ass and had no penetration. SHEEESH! Yeah, next thing I know, someone is going to read this and claim I said I was gang-raped by transformants…
K. I thank the bubble-wrap gods on a regular basis.
L. If you want to call me “Sydney Bristow”, go ahead. I’ve also been called “Bitch” “Tramp” “Whore” “Slut” “Hey You” “Fucker” “Cunt” and “My Girl”. The last one is off limits. Those who try it without authorization WILL be shot.
M. To avoid “drunken” posting, there is one thing you must remember: Don’t drink by a computer. The screen looks too damn good after a few glasses, and you can’t resist the temptation. It is as simple as that. However, it is funny as Hell when you wake up the next day and ask yourself “What the FUCK did I do last night?!” If anyone else has advice to offer on this one, I would appreciate it.
N. Life is good, 2005 is ending on a GREAT note, and 2006 looks even brighter.
O. The best places to go in Vegas are anywhere there aren’t tourists crossing the street in front of moving traffic. Hmm...then again it is pretty damn funny to watch the drunken idiots go flying over your car…
P. I.Love.Python. You made me laugh so hard I think I peed a little. You know who you are. =)
I think that is all for now. Damn, I can’t remember the last time I wrote a post this long. Yeah, I’ve been busy, but I’ve been thinking of you all. You lot helped me keep a smile on my face through this hellish time of year. You are greatly appreciated! Happy Holidays guys!!!
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We Now Interrupt My Hellish Schedule To Bring You This Post...
As a child, I grew up reading the following story:
An old Chinaman caught a wonderful bird in his garden one day. Whenever it snapped its beak, gold pieces would fall out of it. But the richer the old man got, the meaner he got. Whenever his servants’ wages were due, he would order them to go to the market to buy him ow and ouch. “If you come back without them, instead of wages you will receive a hundred strokes of the cane,” he would say.
They always preferred to stay at home and lose their pay. Once he took a clever young boy into his service. When his wages became due, the old man sent him to market like the others. “If I bring you ow and ouch, will you give me your magic bird?” the boy asked. The old man grimaced wickedly, but he agreed.
The boy ran into town. On the way he took two gourds, into one of which he put a wasp, in the other a bee. Then he hurried back to his master. “I have brought you ow and ouch,” he called out. “Put your finger in the gourds, and you will see!” As soon as the old man did so, the angry wasp stung him. “Ow, ow!” he cried.
“Did I not tell you, master, that I had brought you ow?” laughed the boy. “Put your finger in the other gourd, for there you will find ouch!” But the old man had had enough. He had to give the boy his magic bird, and he never sent anyone to market for ow and ouch again.
Now, if you aren’t already aware, I recently was defeated in the Thunderdome by this blog.
Did I expect the defeat? Yes.
Do I care that I’ve been defeated? No. Actually, I am quite nonchalant about it. When I found out, I was buried in a biochemistry text-book on the final leg of an all-nighter I was pulling for an exam that day.
Actually, that is why I’ve taken so long to “react”: I’ve got a shit-load of work right now that takes priority over such trivial things.
Am I going to discuss the comments made? Why? Everyone is entitled to their own interpretation and opinion.
Actually, I figured they were too easy on me, as instead of ripping me a new ass-hole, my innate one is in its same, pristine condition as it was when I entered the “dome”.
What the fuck is this “banned bank” that you have up?
When I applied for the “dome” I was aware of the consequences if I lost.
I am also aware of my sentence.
My opinion is again that the judges were too easy on me, and far too kind. I was hoping I’d be defeated so I could have an excuse to not blog and to vacate the site for awhile. Then again, the fact that I lost to a blog as shitty as PMRILY, disallows me the ability to conceal from the world just how shitty my own blog is. Of course, I was well aware of this fact as I had signed up for, and was admitted to the Shitty Blogs Club months ago. It was for this reason that I decided to override the judges length of time from “not exceeding two months” to the full extent of one year (365 days for those of you who are conversion freaks).
The banned bank is my way of having everyone hold me accountable to this, and we all get to watch the time tick on by, and I get to enjoy the excuse to take a break from blogging.
That’s right...I am going to be a good, honourable girl and not only increase my sentence time, but take it piecemeally.
You know, someone should really look into the utilisation of adverbs every now and then…
*returns to hellish schedule*
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I'm alive..
I’m alive and dealing with quite a bit of emotional crap right now. In attempts to cheer myself up, I watched this clip. There is plenty more to say, but not here, and not now. =) Have a good weekend guys!
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F.Y.I.
I figured it is about time I gave you all a bit of a heads up. If you look to the sidebar on the left of your screen, at the bottom of the “About” section is a little drop box that says “Skin Me Baybee!”. If you click on that, you can choose, yes that is right, CHOOSE your favourite skin for this blog, whether it is the CSI one (which is the default one for now) or the one with the crazy horses.
That is all! =)
h4xx0rd
Bio shouldn’t have made such an announcement that she would be gone for a while.
I have taken the opportunity to h4xx0r this site.
Now you must deal with moi for a few days.
MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
And so I present to you EyeCandy Day
Today it’s for the ladies!
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To a Special Someone
Dear Lust of My Life:
I loved it how you jumped into the BE shout-box, guns-a-blazing, screaming dirty things at me. We haven’t known each other for very long, although I spotted you from afar. Yes, you fiend, I’ve had my eye on you for some time. When I opened up to you, however, you turned around and began berating me for no reason. Your insecurities became apparent when you began calling me a cheat, implying that I was a whore. A whore I might be, in some cases, but not when it came to you, my darling. When I tried to explain this to you, you went in a rage, slandering what bit of my good name I had left. Just because you rejected me when I was open to you, deciding that you didn’t want me, didn’t mean you had to make it so that no one else could have me. For that reason, my beloved, I must tell you to piss off and die a horrible blogging death. I’m sorry it took me so long, but it is clear that it would have never worked between us. I need you to understand this, and if you come near me again, I will show you how Napalm and a blowtorch should be used.
Scathingly yours,
Me
Freaky Friday
I have been contemplating doing some sort of themed day once a week. Since forensic science is the field I am headed into, it would be either Mystery Monday or Forensics Friday, and would consist of some mock crime scene/mystery that the reader would try to solve. If you lot would be interested in that, please let me know.
In other news…
I’ve come across two of the most adorable images on the net, courteousy of humandescent.com. In order to do my part of spreading warm-fuzzies to all of you weary net-travellers, I thought I would share them with you.
Have a wonderful weekend everyone!
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