CHOMP!

With me working full time and bouncing back from personal hell raised by my father’s family, I let school slip. Yeah, you know that thing I am also doing full time?  The one that is biting me in the ass? I swear there aren’t enough hours in the day. So over the next twenty-four hours I have two major papers that I haven’t even begun the research for, four minor papers that I just need to sit down and crank out, an exam to sit, and I believe seven “discussion” topics that need about a typed page response each. I feel like adding to the list “and a partridge in a pear tree.” It kinda rounds it out nicely, doesn’t it? If I alternate espresso shots with red bull, my stomach shouldn’t get too screwed up, right? 

Dining with a cynic

Appetizer:

My day began with wet work clothes. Clothes that I had put in the dryer and started to dry before going to bed. I could tell it was going to be an interesting day.

Entree:

I go out to eat after work with my friend. The server manages to bring him his card back, but lose mine between the register and our table. Half the restaraunt staff looked for it for at least a half hour, but no luck. The server looked miserable, telling me to ring them in the morning to see if it had turned up. I went home and canceled my card and had the bank issue a new one, laughing in the process because I saw it coming.

Dessert:

I locate the mail for the day, seeing a letter for me from the university. I opened it up, and inside it was a single slip of paper that said the following:

Your degree has not been posted at this time due to the following reason(s). If a course was taken in place of the course listed below, please have your advisor send a memo stating change(s). ---Lacks BIOL 445 - 3 Credits Contact Advisor

Now, the thing I love about my university is that communication between departments is non-existant. Now the course in question was one my advisor sat down and discussed at the beginning of the semester. “You know you don’t need this course for you to graduate,” she said. I agreed with her. Believe me, I have the bloody degree requirements burned into my brain with the number of hoops I’ve had to jump through the past few years. I did take a course in “place” of it, and I also know I didn’t pass this course in question. That’s fine, I knew I wasn’t going to. But now this? And I’ve a bloody interview that requires my degree in a couple weeks? I sent her an e-mail, but I know I won’t get to talk to her until Monday. I’m just going to do my best to not let this ruin my weekend, but unfortunately this one I can’t laugh off. Talk about a kick in the stomach.

What a Day...

So, I pulled yet another all-nighter last night. I went to go finish getting ready for uni and noticed that two notes had appeared on my father’s door. The first hint that is was my uncle’s doing was that they were type-written. The second hint is that they possessed words I’ve never heard my grandmother use. The third was they were filled with utter bullshit. Please note, names have been changed to exploit the idiodic:

December 15, 2006

Bio’s Dad and Bio,

As I stated earlier this week, I want both of you to be out of my house as soon as possible. As I stated a week ago [and fucking changed her mind the same fucking day], I expect Bio to be out after her graduation (December 16th), and Bio’s Dad to be out Monday, the 18th. If you are not gone, your possessions will be removed from my house [pry them from my cold, lifeless hands bitch] at the earliest convenience and legal proceedings will begin immediately to have you legally evicted by the Las Vegas Constable. In addition, I have spoken with Investigator Bullshit, of the Abuse & Neglect Division of the Metropolitan Police Department, who would be glad to come over and discuss with you how you have been exploiting me financially and emotionally [*eyeroll*]; especially if you respond in a hurtful fashion to this note [translation: if you even look at me]. This decision is final, so do not attempt to negotiate an alternative solution [suck my ass, fucktard].

Gran’s Full Legal Name [Another blatant indication that she didn’t compose it]